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Tuesday 28 October 2014

Dear Nigerians What do I do?

From a female Nigerian

I have been seeing this guy for 9 months and in those 9 months, most of the time we had sex, it was unprotected. In fact I was the one who always insisted that he used protection to avoid any issues.
He always claimed to get carried away. I didn’t want to be too pushy on the condom matter because we are both in our 30s and we were looking at something serious. I once teased him saying “what if I got pregnant” and his reply was that there was no better time than now. I was still being careful and tried to take contraceptives to avoid issues.
During the relationship though I noticed that we weren’t flowing much in terms of how we relate to each other…he was so quiet and I being a rather quiet person too, took to going online to find questions to ask a new boyfriend in order to get to know him better. I observed however that he was very open and talkative with other people.  I also observed that we hardly ever talked but he would ping and ping.

I mentioned this to our mutual friend through whom I met him and she said it was probably because we were still getting to know each other (after 9 months).  We both also agreed that the fact that we live in different towns may also be a reason for our not being close. He lives in Benin while I live in Lagos

For me, it was time to draw the relationship to a close but he had a surgery which I was unaware of at first and this mutual friend of ours called me to say that I should visit him, adding that I should remember he had no steady girlfriend. I did, thinking that we could work things out, but in my opinion, we still didn’t bond, even though I was surprised that he could gather strength to make love to me while I was nursing him ,lol. I attributed our not bonding as I would have liked, to the fact that he was ill and had just been discharged from hospital.

I went back to base but missed my period after 3 weeks. I called him to inform him but he refused to get in touch till after 4 days, only for him to tell me that there were issues
According to him, he had unprotected sex with his ex who he dated for 4 years, recently and she is also pregnant.  Now he wants her to keep her pregnancy and asked me to get rid of mine, so depressing!

What would you do if it were you?

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